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My unhealthy sadness over Seal and Heidi Klum

As a middle-schooler, I obsessed over Seal’s song, “Kissed by a Rose.”  When it came on the radio, I would rush to hit record so I could have it on a tape to listen to whenever I so desired — which was a lot.  It took a few tries to get to the radio in time to record, but I finally got it.  And then I practically wore the tape out, rewinding and replaying the song while I wrote down the lyrics.  Embarrassing?  It probably should be.

But ever since then, I’ve had an interest in Seal.  I have been so happy watching his relationship with Heidi Klum.  They were the poster-couple for marriage.  They were openly affectionate, made time for romance, loved on their children, and talked each other up whenever they were interviewed.

So I was un-healthily devastated when I found out they are splitting up.  How can it be?  They were perfect together.

And I am completely baffled by the curious reason they gave in their press release: They simply grew apart.

Seal appeared on Ellen yesterday, and talked about how much he loves Heidi, how wonderful she is, how shocked they both were when they decided to separate.  Ellen pointed out that he is still wearing his wedding ring, and he gave some non-answer about how you don’t just take off your wedding ring when you decide to separate — because, get this, there is still so much love there.

So if there is so much love there, WHY are they calling it quits?  They don’t really owe anyone an explanation for their split, but then again — they do. Because they flaunted their happiness.  They told us all how to do it.  And now they are ending it.

“Growing apart” is not a good reason for a divorce.  It’s a good reason for soul searching, a great reason for finding your spirituality, a fantastic reason for marriage counseling, a stupendous reason for — you know, working at something in which you’ve invested your life (and the lives of four children).

We all know “growing apart” is just Hollywood code for infidelity or some other such treachery.  But can’t they give us something a little more… concrete?  Because now they’re going around, telling the world that couples simply grow apart and divorce.  Like that’s a standard we should accept.

Let me tell you something:  Marriage is roses and marriage is thorns.  But most importantly, marriage is a commitment.  You ride the good times with a smile, and you hunker down and barrel through the tough times, and you know what?  You come out stronger.  You come through it together.

I know I sound callous about what is surely a painful thing in two real people’s lives.  But shouldn’t somebody just shake them?  If they grew apart, can’t they grow together?

Seal — I still love your voice, and Heidi — you sure can rock a post-baby body.  But give us a better reason for your split or please please stop talking about it, and making it seem like husband and wife should just walk away when they wake up and find themselves going in different directions.

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