Welcome to My Sunday Afternoon

by Rebecca on October 9, 2011

If you don’t have kids, but think you may one day want them, DON’T read this post!

After staying an extra hour for choir practice, we rushed home from church this afternoon, and I hurried to feed my starving baby while Ryan got busy feeding Lydia and making five loaves of wheat bread.  (Have I told you lately that I love my husband?)

While Emma was finishing eating, I noticed her face start to contort.  As any mother can tell you, the face your child makes before doing her business is a distinctly unique face, and one not to be ignored.

Seconds later, I felt wet warmth on my lap, and knew her diapers had failed to do their job, yet again.  It only took me a millisecond to assess the damage, after which I immediately — and very eloquently– called out for reinforcements.   “AHHHHHH!!!!”

The mess was everywhere, and this was definitely not a one person job.

The hubs left the eldest child (who was being amazingly agreeable) and the mixer to take the baby off my hands while I headed to the bedroom to change my dress, both of us shouting with great amounts of aggravation to each other about our difficulties of removing poop (there, I said the word) covered clothing without spreading the mess.

Happily, I succeeded.  Unhappily, he did not.

It was time for a bath for the little newborn.

While he wiped down the changing table, I gingerly deposited the baby in her tub, only to notice the mess had spread all the way up to her ears.  That is not an exaggeration.  Because the mess was so far reaching, it had also oozed onto the baby tub, which was supposed to be the place where she would get clean.

I needed reinforcements again.   “AHHHHHH!”

The hubs came in to clean the now contaminated tub, while I held the baby under running water, then placed her back into the newly clean tub.

Once all visible traces of the offending mess were gone, I soaked the baby in her tub and vigorously scrubbed her soft little body, while Ryan took the stained clothes downstairs to be laundered.

When we were all together as a family again, Ryan informed me he had noticed the cat had thrown up all over the laundry room floor.

“I didn’t clean it up,” he said.

“I don’t blame you,” I responded.

He then took the sweet smelling, freshly clean little babe from my hands and held her up to his shoulder…

…where she promptly threw up all the contents of her stomach.

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Haley October 9, 2011 at 6:55 pm

I laughed out loud! Too funny and we have so been there!

Emily October 9, 2011 at 11:24 pm

Oh my, does this bring back memories (minus the cat vomit because we don’t have a cat). We’ve had the “poop up to the ears” thing and it is not fun. And there is no way you can get the clothes off without getting it everywhere. It’s impossible. But at least you had freshly baked bread later that evening! :)

Jacqulyn October 10, 2011 at 1:48 pm

That made me laugh out loud as well. You are so funny Rebecca. Sounds like a very interesting day!

Elizabeth Giuliacci October 10, 2011 at 8:19 pm

Totally feelin’ ya there, girl. I love your husband. Not actual love, but you know, I love him for your sake. I think people who want to have children SHOULD read this post. I had no idea what I was getting into when I got into it and I was pretty ticked nobody ever told me. Not that it would have changed my mind, but I would have had an idea of what was behing door number 2.

Diane Wright October 12, 2011 at 11:13 am

It’s just pay back time for all the poop (I said it too) Linda and I had to clean up. It’s definitely a two man job and its a bummer when it happens and you are alone. It’s also a good thing that babies are so darn sweet.

Linda October 17, 2011 at 11:36 am

Everyone needs a story like that to tell. Laughed my way through it and it brought back memories. Not great ones, mind you. They are so sweet when they are clean again, aren’t they.

Steph October 21, 2011 at 1:35 pm

I am giggling… We have all been there.

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