I’m sure by now you’ve seen this video.
But have you seen this one?
Holy majoley, after watching and laughing 10,000 times (and watching and laughing at my 2 year old who was fake laughing in order to fit in with her parents 10,000 times), I noticed something.
At the end of the library commercial, he’s in the “snack zone” in the library. What? I went to BYU for 4 1/2 years. Or was it 5? I don’t remember. But I studied in that library daily. I NEVER KNEW THERE WAS A SNACK ZONE. I even took the required walkman tour (yes, walkman. It wasn’t that long ago, but long enough, apparently) of the library.
If I had known, I could have avoided a most ridiculous encounter with library security my first month of my freshman year:
There I was in my favorite library cubicle, sleep deprived and ravenous from a long study session. I opened my bag of goldfish and happily feasted while highlighting sentences I wouldn’t remember reading 2 minutes later when all of a sudden, I looked up to see a blue uniformed man staring down at me.
“I’m sorry, Miss, but eating is forbidden in the library,” Mr. Security Guard informed me.
“Oh sorry, I’ll put it away,” I informed him.
“Yes, but I need to write you a citation. What is your name?”
I stared up at him, dumbfounded, and while we made eye contact for the first time, my mouth fumbled around trying to form words. No words would come, of course, because the situation was too ridiculous for dialogue. A citation? For eating in the library? What?
While I stared and mumbled, his face softened. He put his hand on my shoulder and told me in a most soothing voice, “It’s ok. This is a first time offense. You won’t have any negative consequences.”
In my sleep deprived state, I struggled to grasp the meaning of the word “offense” in relation to eating goldfish in the library. Trying to figure that out, I barely had time to register that he had suddenly turned into creepy Mr. Sweetheart. Still wondering why I was having this conversation, I realized my eyes that had not closed in 18 hours were filling with moisture.
Do your eyes water when you’re tired? Because mine do. And watering eyes look an awful lot like tears.
So Ridiculous Mr. Security Guard thought he had made a freshman cry over eating food in the library. ~Just to be clear, I was NOT crying because I got caught eating. My eyes were WATERING because I was exhausted.~
While the situation was horribly embarrassing for me, I was too tired to correct his thinking. Instead, I let him go on his merry citation slapping way, with guilt in his step for making me “cry.”
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I went to BYU for 2 years, and I think I used the library once. Yeah, I was awesome.
No matter how many times I watch these I laugh my butt off. Thankfully I have tons of butt to spare.
I went there for four years and may have used it four times, all because it was a class assignment. I did date one of those library security guys, but he was pretty cool (and cute). Too bad he was waiting for a missionary. And lame. Who knew Goldfish crackers were so rebellious?
I definitely remember the “eating in the library” story being told to us! If only you knew of the snack zone…
I didn’t watch the videos yet, but I’m laughing out loud reading your account of offending the library. You must be so ashamed. I’m ashamed for you. You are hilarious.
So I saw that snack zone part too and commented to my husband about it. He looked at me like I was crazy that I didn’t know about it, but I am pretty sure they didn’t tell us about it when we were at BYU! Of course, back then they didn’t have wireless internet except for in a few buildings on campus and tell a BYU student that now and they die of shock. Are we getting old?
So glad you didn’t cry over some stupid security guard giving you a citation for consuming goldfish in the sacred library!
I saw the video this morning on the news for the first time! It’s great! Too bad they didn’t have celestial sandwiches at the library when you were there. Now THAT would have been worth having a citation!